The Sports Archives – Five Types Of Golfers You Should Not Be Seen With In Public, But Do Anyway!

As weird as the uninitiated might call this sport and those who play it, only a true golfer fully understands that you have to actually play it to understand its awesomeness. But, every now and then, even the most ardent of golfers will agree with the world on the craziness golf brings. More in the form of fellow golfers than anything else like these five kinds of golfers. Right from plain weird to downright infuriating, if you thought golf was boring, think again.

1) The Golf Police

You know that kid who always got a good many whacks in the head because his life’s only apparent mission was to remind the teacher about the homework she forgot to assign. The golf police is the adult golfing version of that scrawny little boy. He’s read the Golf Rules Book for dummies, professionals, Martians and everyone in between way too many times to be normal. He’ll ruin a perfectly relaxed day at golf by rattling away laws like a nun praying the litany. What’s worse is that he actually thinks he’s doing you a favor by pointing out what a lawless ignorant you are.

How to identify him: Anything that starts with, “According to Rule….”

2) The Leaking Pipe

This man lives by the principle of “In a golf course, will pee”. So what if there was a portable toilet near almost every hole? That tree is still getting pissed on. Because, using the bathroom is just too mainstream. Also, while you mentally brace yourself for the exasperation and slight embarrassment, brace yourself to see his junk as well. Because, no matter how hard you try to avoid this possibility, the frequency with which he whips his equipment out, there’s no running away. And talking him out of it just doesn’t work.

How to identify him: “Hey guys, I see we’re moving past the second hole. Let me take this blessed opportunity to *make it rain* on that lone tree there”.

3) The Gremlin

He’s the Lord Voldemort of golf.This man will jinx every good putt he sets his eyes on and does it so well, he could do it for a living. You’ve struck your 15 putt dead solid, and it’s following the exact trajectory that you’ve mapped. The ball is inches away from falling into that hole, and you’re inches away from victory. Just then, in that glorious moment, The Gremlin hoots, “Whoa! What a shot, man!” The next thing you know, the ball seems to have grown invisible legs and makes the most random curve in history and goes everywhere except the hole. His cheers are his weapon, your shot is his medium and you are his victim.

How to identify him: “Gentlemen, in a matter of seconds, we’re about to witness the putt of the century, allow me to ruin a fellow golfer’s happiness with my unintentional jinxes”.

4) The Mascot

Trust The Mascot to make you feel like you were born only yesterday, homeless and penniless. His outfit is ALWAYS color and brand coordinated – right from the cap to the bag. Speaking of bag, rest assured, it’s going to be a massive tour bag armed with every golfing gear known to mankind. He’s golf’s unofficial, unpaid and untalented poster boy. The Mascot is the reason the golf merchandise industry is making any money at all. You’d think this man was born to play golf, or golf was born for him. His game is the exact opposite of his attire.

How to identify: “These shoes are Tiger Woods limited edition, man. Just like every other golf gear I own”.

5) The Coach

This man knows why you can’t get your stance right and how to fix your apparently miserable swing. And he’ll waste no time in letting you know, in a “professional” jargon you’ll never quite understand, obviously. The coach is The Mascot’s first cousin. He watches every Masters and has a lifetime supply of every golf handbook and DVD imaginable, as if his very existence depends on it. He’s the self-appointed Guru to every golfer who sets foot into the course.But, all this knowledge is only on paper, of course, silly. In reality, his putts would make a drunk Daffy Duck look like Jack Nicklaus. Oh and there is no shutting him up.

How to identify: “Goodness, Jim! Even sleepwalking three-year olds have a better stance. Wait; let ME show you how it’s done.”

Description: To those who thought golf made absolutely no sense, it may not be so much because of the game as a whole, but because of some typical people who play it. This post discusses five kinds of golfers who are as commonly found as they are exasperating – the kind of people one should avoid from miles away, but never really manage to do.

Featured images:

Jenny Wadlow is a marketing executive at The Golf Clearance Outlet. In her opinion, callaway drivers are the best that there is to offer and are hot favourite amongst golf lovers. Apart from her usual office work, she takes time out to indulge in her hobbies.

Related Blogs:
Tips On Perfecting Your Golf Swing!
The History Of Golf In America!
Choosing A Set Of Golf Clubs

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1 Response to The Sports Archives – Five Types Of Golfers You Should Not Be Seen With In Public, But Do Anyway!

  1. Pingback: The Sports Archives – Relaxing On The Fairway Between Shoots – Hollywood Movie Stars Who Love To Play Golf! | The Sports Archives Blog

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